One of the subjects on my first intro blog was how to Stage with children and someone just asked me about it - so it's a good blog topic. When I got started as a Stager, I was a full-time Mom of 4 children, ages 2 1/2 to 7 years old. My oldest is a girl and then I have 3 boys! Yeah! I worked full-time in the environmental consulting field as a marketing and business development manager before coming home after having our daughter. My goal was to stay at home, and when my husband was faced with losing 1/3 of his income in high-tech, I had a decision. I could either go back to corporate (not!) or find something productive I could do from home. So my search began, and I had always toyed around with the creative side of my talents - knowing that if I could frame a business around what I was good at, I could make it work. Enter Staging. I had the last 2 houses I sold in the Bay Area Staged by someone my Realtor brought in. She gave me ideas, I implemented them, and the houses sold. So, when I moved to Roseville, and my husband's job situation happened, I thought, "Staging! No one is doing it here." We looked at 80 houses for sale and I knew no one was Staging. So a lightbulb went on, I did my research and got trained. The rest is history.
But part of my journey is my life with children and running a successful Staging company while also being a Mom. In the beginning, I was homeschooling my 4 children. Two were in primary and 2 were in preschool. I had to teach during the morning up until about 1 PM and had homeschooling networking groups where I taught Spanish, and other subjects. So, in the beginning, I only Staged during evenings and weekends. It was tough but I did it. My husband was in outside sales, so when I had a presentation that I had to do in the early morning, he would stay home and teach, or watch the kids, and I would be gone for an hour. After 2 years of this, we decided to put our kids into private Christian school, where they attend to this day. I was "validated" when they had their test scores for entrance and all placed well above their grade levels for all subjects except their writing samples that were at "age level." I hate getting up in the early morning to get them off to school, but now I do have my full day to get Staging done, network, and do other necessary tasks for running my business.
The key turning point was when my husband got into Real Estate full time about 3 years ago. I do all his marketing too - all his pieces, website, etc. and so we realized that my time was being squeezed and in fairness to our kids, we needed to put them in school because I could no longer manage their schooling, my growing business that had tripled in size, and now my husband's Real Estate business.
Now our children help me on jobs from time to time - and really enjoy it. I have my 8 year old Austin that can carry a rolled up area rug all by himself! My littlest one Logan (7) is "Mr. Clean" and loves organizing my tools. My daughter Lauren, (12) is a Stager in Training - loves the creative side, and Steven, my 11 year old is just willing to help load, or do whatever I need. I am excited to have them grow up in this business - and hope that they decide to do something entrepreneurial for a career - whether it's joining my husband in his business as a Realtor, me as a Stager, or helping us run our businesses. Our boys have this knack for math (I did get an A+ in Calculus at UCLA) - that analytical mind that would make them great at organizing or assembling or ??? Of course they will pick their own paths, but as they need summer jobs, etc., they can help in Mom & Dad's businesses! And there are some GREAT tax benefits to paying kids to help in a family business. And thank goodness for GameBoys - when I have had to take them on a job and they grow bored, they can play those little games and stay quiet!
As my business grew and I had demands from clients, I added people to my team. I knew I could not get out during the afternoon - the first 2 years I was in business I could not do this, so I needed team members that were available. So I added them - and they would go out on the jobs I could not, plus had their own jobs to do. It worked out great - I never had to turn away business, I never had to tell a client I could not get to them, and so it grew.
So for those of you that have children, they are only little once, so make sure you take the time to be with them. I have said to myself, I don't want my kids to reflect on their youth and say, "My Mom was this great Stager and our house looked really nice, but she was not around." That would be so sad. So, I have to stop sometimes and put aside the marketing or jobs I want to do and go on field trips, help with school projects, and just watch a movie with them. Making memories is important. I had someone tell me that they wished my kids would hurry up and grow up - and I don't want that. Time is fleeting - so find a balance - I guess that's the best advice I could give to anyone in a similar situation.
Balance - it's not always easy. I find myself getting sucked into working all the time (or the AR site!) . . . so I end up staying up really late - into the wee hours of the morning. That is MY time. The kids are in bed, books read, pj's on, and sound asleep. I have been known to go to sleep and get up at 3 AM to work on the computer. I schedule most of my jobs starting at 10 or 11 AM, and only go out earlier if I have a networking job or a presentation. . .or it's summer and I am trying to beat the heat. So, if I am super tired after a late night, I can go back and rest for an hour or so. I LOVE not having a time clock, but I do end up burning the candle on both ends for sure. Make sure to protect your health too! I ended up getting pneumonia last year because I let myself get run down - which is yet another good reason to have a colleague to work with so you can rest up if needed!
I look foward to involving my children even more as they get older and I think it's great that they can see their parents working their own business, and they understand the value of money as we share with them how hard we work - and they see it first hand. But they also see that we really enjoy what we are doing.
So find your balance, and enjoy your family. Find a colleague to help with jobs as needed. If things happen in the family that pull your attention away for a time, know that you can put the Staging aside for a time to handle more important needs. . .it can always be picked up again when life is back on track.
Those of you that have kids, how have you handled having kids at home - or on the job?
Please share - it's a valuable topic and I know a lot of Stagers are Moms first . . . or are Dad's first . . . or will be someday . . . and your children may be children or your pets or you may have some other person you care for - and so the key question is how do you find your balance?
- Jennie
Hi Teresa,
Thanks for writing - and as with working at traditional job, finding the balance is important. I found that when I was working outside the home, it was easier to turn off my business self - as I was not in the setting where I worked when I got home. But, because I work from home, and so does my husband, it's sometimes like the computer is calling out to me (us) and we will pass time doing emails, marketing, etc. and not realize how long we've been in our "offices." That is when I just literally have to get up and walk away - and tell myself "It can wait." The obsessive parts of our personalities that just want to check if there is one more email (or blog posting) is powerful! I know as our children get older too there will be other demands of schooling, relationships, etc. and so I am ready to make adjustments for that. The only way I was able to go and train like I do is because my husband is home full-time. If he were working a traditional job, I would not have done it - I feel it is really important that our children have a parent at home full time, so it works for us. - Jennie
hey jennie
i don't have kids yet (well, a husband still need to be found haha) but it's so great to read about your story and it's just has been insipiring being in your presence.
cheers,
cindy
Hi Alyce,
WOW! You ARE a busy mom - I bow down to you! I had 3 in 3 1/2 years and total of 4 in 5 years - but no twins!! . . . I am an identical twin and when we were born, my Mom had a 2 1/2 year old daugter, and a 16 month old daughter, then my sister and me, and then 4 years later, my younger sister! 5 girls! Anyway, it is going to be a struggle at first until you find that balance. What I recommend is that you figure out how much you want/need to earn as a Stager, and then plot out what kinds of jobs will bring that income, and how many hours a week you will need to work. I know that we work part time or even part-part time as Stagers to earn a nice income. Your actual work might be 10-20 hours a week, with other work done on the computer for marketing or research, etc. Once you have figured out the amount of hours you need, then you would need to partition your time - set aside so many hours for your family, and tell yourself that you will not do jobs in that timeframe. You may want to consider teaming up with another Stager that has the same background as you do - so that IF you get a call for a job that HAS to be done during the time you have set aside for your family, you can refer it to them, and it gets done. You can read my blog on building a team for some other ideas.
It's what I found worked for me, and works still for today. I have things that come up with my kids - doctor's appointments, unexpected sickness, and they need me. I like being able to stay home with them when possible, and it's so easy to call a colleague and pass the job. I know it's being handled, the client is in good hands, and everyone is happy.
Your kids are only little once - and I remember the days of 2 in diapers - you have 2 - maybe 3 if your boy is like the "average" boy - trains at 3 1/2 years old (that is a statistic and not my own number). Get some good child care - and factor that cost into any jobs you do - so that you know what your true earnings are going to be. Work around their schedules - and get a routine that works. It was also hard for me to be gone as I felt like I was missing a lot - and really, as long as they know Mommy is coming back, it's OK for them to be without you for a little bit of time. I think it's harder on us - and kids have a way of tugging at our heart strings and making us feel really badly when we have to go. I still get that when I have to go out of town to train. Last month, my 8 year old literally was sobbing as I left the house to go for 3 days as I often train in places far from my house or in another state and am not able to be home at night. I felt HORRIBLE!! His big brown eyes were just streaming with tears and he was shuddering with sobs! I wanted to stay home - and just hold him! My husband said as soon as I drove away, he was better, even though he called me crying, and in an hour, he was totally fine and gave me a big hug when I got home 3 days later - all smiles. So, I just want to share - it does not really get easier - but I feel less guilty about being gone, and life is fine, and the kids are loved, and they know I love them. When I am home, we have good times together - bonding over books, games, shopping, baking, coloring, etc.
And as I wrote above, it's good for kids to see their parents work - as long as they do not feel or get neglected. I think setting an example of working for ourselves is good - and I totally believe that as our kids get older and they begin to decide what they want to do - they will be more inclined to follow their passion and not just get a "job" - because they have seen that we were willing to go out on a limb and do the risky thing by starting our own businesses. They will also see the freedom and flexibility that we have - and that is very attractive!
Hang in there - and kiss your babies!!! -Jennie
Excellent advice Jennie.
The 3 year old is a girl, and other then nightime she has been trained since 2.5. The twins are identical boys. Fortunately the 3 year old is already in preschool 3 days a week, so I try and do a lot of my work on those days, and evenings. When the twins turn 18 months we'll look at putting them in to some sort of program as well, even if it's just a couple times a week for half days at first.
Hi Kimberly & Alyse,
I was teaching a class this week . . . back home and on email and internet - a way to relax sometimes! As I wrote before, striking a balance may mean waiting to go full-force until the kids are able to go to a daycare or school . . .they are only little once, and I know having a creative outlet can save sanity. I always had something I did on the side- even for just a little bit - so that it was "my" activity - so that my total identity was not all about the children. It's important - I have heard of moms that feel that they never get to talk with an adult, and that all they deal with are children and their needs. It's what I signed on for when I became a mom- and I LOVE my children, and love doing things with them. Even if all I did was draw or sketch as part of "my time" - it was an outlet. You'll look back at how fast time has flown and be glad you could be there with them.
Kimberly - I know that having a spouse is also like taking care of a child - in many ways - as we are caring for them, meeting their needs, etc. - and my Mom told me a long time ago, that no one was really going to look out for me. If I needed down-time or wanted to get out, I needed to schedule that time for myself. It's not that I or we are martyr's but it is that we are in a role of caregiver and provider. There are some wonderful husbands out there - mine got me flowers for V-Day, nice dinner - he planned it all - it was great. When I need to get pampered, I just need to schedule that time - otherwise I will get sucked into the constant needs of the house and family. It never ends, and yet it does not all HAVE to be done in a day, some can wait.
-Jennie
Thanks for the inspiration and the kind words Jennie. Life is striking a balance and sooner or later I know it will get easier
Hi Christine & Kimberly,
Yes - setting an example for our children by pursuing a passion and not just a job is really great. I wish I'd had that when I was deciding what I wanted to "be" when I grew up. I sort of tried to follow in my parents' footsteps - they are both in the medical field (Dr. & Nurse) - and when I began to get into the in-depth studies of pre-med at UCLA, I found it was not my passion, my heart was not in it. So, I graduated, and went into an interesting field, environmental consulting, but still not my passion. It was the turn of events I have shared that led me to Staging, and perhaps I could not have really pursued this 20 years ago, but I am glad I found it when I did. I have a lot of students that have spent a lifetime in careers they hated, or just did for the income, but did not really enjoy. Being able to help show our children that taking a risk is good, being in business for yourself can be rewarding, and working hard is a value - are all good things. And finding a business where we can use our creativity and be well-paid, is fabulous! Not all of our kids will "be" stagers, but I think seeing a parent follow their passion and really have a career they enjoy, will inspire the children to do something similar because life really is short - in the grand scheme of things - and I'd much rather have my children follow their passion that land in a job that just pays the bills.
- Jennie
Hi Jennie,
I loved your blog and found it so relevant NOW as I am having those issues. I have 3 children, 2 boys and finally, my little princess. They are ages 12,9,and 5. I think she is the "boy" I never had, because she is so loud and rambunctious (spelling?). My boys were fairly quiet and could entertain themselves for hours. She is constantly demanding of my time and I love that because I realize I am needed and make myself stop to spend time with her, sometimes, it can be frustrating and impossible.
I was a full-time SAHM until last year. I am faced with the need to get afterschool care for them or a part-time nanny care. I thought when I started, I would take on a staging project here and there, but it has been more than that, (and I'm not complaining, I count my blessings) but now with substantial investment into the business, I can no longer think of this as a part-time, when I get a project here and there type profession. I am finding that I need to aggressively pursue and market myself to get at a positive cash flow position. I feel so blessed to have finally found my calling, but it has been hampered by reality that I do have children who still need me and the realization that the housework load still need to get done. Balance is key yet soooo hard. Transitioning from a SAHM to part-time forced to be full-time stager has been hard. I think part of that too, is because I'm not sure how to go about getting help, not only with domestic situation, but finding another stager to help out. I'm hoping that if I find that someone special to help me staging, I will not need to get someone to help me raising my own children. Am I fantasizing?
Please let me know if this is too personal or if you don't feel comfortable sharing this, but if you don't mind me asking....How do you get someone to be "in your team"? Is that a contractual thing or do you pay them a salary? I've heard too many horror stories about backstabbing and ugliness that comes with entrusting your business to someone else (and along with that, I'll add, that I've heard wonderful stories as well). I guess the staging industry is not immune to the ugliness that happens in business in general, although I am in lala-land being in AR w/the staging network, it sure is lovely and supportive!
Do you have a general guideline when finding someone? I heard someone mention that sometimes stagers get 25% of the total you earned. What happens when you are away, entrust your company to another stager, and they take the client from under you? I guess aside from the trust factor, is there a way to prevent or safeguard this from happening? I see a blog coming on....
Hi Marcyne,
I am happy to share and want to be very open about anything that can help someone else. The team members are all independent contractors - so no employees. They get paid according to their hourly rate and how much time they put into a job - or if they are running the job themselves, and use a team member, they pay the team person for their time. If we split inventory for a job, then it's 50/50 for that. Basically they are all out getting their own jobs, and I give overflow to team members whenever I can. They do the jobs, and just pay me a 25% on their time for marketing and admin costs. They would be paying more than that if they were on their own, so it's a win-win.
It is really an "on your honor" situation and I do stay on top of who is doing what - in a subtle way - and we all rely on each other for jobs when we need a 2nd person. I encourage them to go and market and network and their ultimate success is totally dependent on whether or not they go out and go for the business. I am not a job broker and need team mates that will take on the same goal of expanding for business that I have.
The issue of client "ownership" is tough. It's not an issue for me as I am clear that my clients are mine, and have documentation to prove it if it ever became an issue. I have passed jobs - and have interacted with clients and my team members to the point where they may get the next call from that client, but they always know that the client is mine, and share when they do get a call. I do not live in fear of losing the client - I know they are being handled and taken care of - and with my time limitations with training this is important. For you, if you do need to have another Stager take care of a client, you'd have to make it really clear that you were to be kept in the loop. You'd have to remain as the primary contact for that client, and let them know that for any future jobs, you'd need to be the one to get the call. The risk is that IF the client likes how that other Stager works or clicks with the other one for some reason - then the client may decide to call that other Stager. So, put the risk factor aside and team up formally so that there is not that issue.
I do have non-compete and non-disclosure agreements in place that do protect my clients and my work that I have developed. You need to have this in place to protect you and it gives equal protection to their clients so that if for any reason you do part ways, your clients are yours, theirs are theirs, and there is no attempt for a set period of time (in my case 5 years) for that person to try to raid your clients or else they will face legal action. It's a business - protect your business. Always be a factor in the mix - even if you are gone on vacation - drop an email, make a call and check in with the client so that you remain the main point of contact.
And lastly, reward yourself as your business grows. I did with a housekeeper that comes twice a month. I LOVE that treat - I can run a vacuum around, but hate doing the deep cleaning and was running out of time to really address my house. When I was bringing in enough income that I could splurge and hire a housekeeper, I did it. It gave me peace of mind - so that I was not Staging and working on other houses and resenting the fact that mine was dusty or disorganized. I don't have to have it totally perfect - I have 4 kids and a dog afterall - but I do want it to be picked up and cleaned in those nooks and crannies every 2 weeks. Do the same for yourself - and then figure out the time you do have with your kids and work to separate the work time from the Mom time. Your kids will appreciate you even more, and you will not feel guilty when you do have to work.
Hope that helps!!
-Jennie
On my last job I had the entire family there, the hubby and both kids. We all did out part, had fun and did an awesome job. The end resul? We got an offer in 6-days.
Hi Denise,
That sounds great - it's fun to involve teh whole family for sure - they enjoy it because they get to experience "your world" and the extra hands make the work go faster! Maybe you are on to something - Family Staging! - Jennie
hi Juliana,
It is fun to include our families . . . at any age! - Jennie
I too have a 4 year old daughter - and really looking forward to September when she starts school! :)
I dont have the ability to rely on my husband due to his job - but I try to do my best spreading myself between working and business. I have always been an entrepreneur - and really love having the flexibility of working when I want to, not cause I have to.
My house may not be the cleanest and I may live on microwave dinner for a week her and there - but something has to be sacrificed i guess and I dont want it to be my family, my daughter especially...
Hi Cheryl,
It is hard to always have a balance - and I know that if you asked my husband, he would share there are times he gets upset that I am not there when he needs me - but I do my best. The key I think is recognizing when things may be out of balance and then working to restore it - I find that taking breaks from Staging is needed, not making it my whole world, is important. And I make sure that my children know I am here for them - and if I have to be gone for a job, it does not mean I don't love them. As they get older, the understanding of what we are doing and why sinks in. It's the little years that they really don't understand, and so I allowed myself to get busier as the kids got older. - Jennie
Hi Amanda,
I totally relate to how you feel - the income that is "reliable" can seem hard to give up for the "risk" of Staging. I can share that one of my team members left her full time job of 21 with an airline, and has more than doubled her income annually from Staging. She works fewer hours, has total flexibility and really loves what she is doing. For me, I did not want to go back to work for a company full time to make ends meet, so I planned out how I could do well with Staging. You can do it too!!! Just build your Staging business in the cracks of time that you do have, and as it begins to grow, you will know when it's time to leave the job and pursue your passion. - Jennie
Hey Jennie:
How wonderful that your whole family works together as a team! And an even better lesson to teach to your kids. It's so very hard today to make a living and still be a hands on Mom. The guilt alone can get to you. Great job!
BTW you should post this to the blog Agent Mom, as I'm sure it will be appreciated there as well.
Ok Jennie...
I am gonna go out on limb here and say... NO FRIGGIN WAY way I am gonna stage with a rug rat. (SMILE... LOL)
I know me and I know I have NOT patience for that. I'll leave that to you.
Me
Hi Mary - Thanks for the tip and I will post it to that blog as well.
Craig- you made me laugh. I have children so therefore I have to work them in to the life and work. However, given the choice, I do not bring them out. It is the exception versus the rule for sure - but I do like them to know what I do. One time, someone at school asked one of my kids, "What do your parents do?" They replied, "My Mom is a Home Stager, and my daddy helps her." Which totally made me laugh - because he is a REALTOR (and they know that). I can see in the future as they get older (and stronger :) I will use them to help. As long as they enjoy it - and are really helping!
- Jennie
This is getting crazy - and my hat goes off to all parents that are Stagers - or anyone who has to handle family - whether kids or parents or siblings - or pets even! We have our four children in softball (my daughter) and little league (our 3 boys) and every day there is either a game or practice! I had to buy 3 sets of snacks this week for 3 different teams - and I feel like my head is going to twirl off trying to keep track of who had to be where in what uniform. We are yelling to find matching socks, can't find belts - sheesh!! Who has time to Stage?!? with all these schedules.
OK - yes - we did this to ourselves - we want our kids to have this experience, but my husband (Realtor) and I are going to re-think this next season. We say that every year, "We are not going to put all 4 in soccer" or "We aren't going to sign them all up for baseball." We make it work - it is nutty - and anyone that is in this situation or headed into this situation as your kids grow - be very ORGANIZED and get a good calendar system that you actually look at! Thank goodness for my TREO - it keeps me on track.
YES amidst all the chaos I am still Staging - have 2 previews today that I am supposed to do in between my daughter's 3 softball games (tournament) . . . Even yesterday I went to pick up my dog from getting his "hair" done - and forgot to bring his leash (or thought they had it) so he literally darted out the door of the store with me yelling for him to stop running through the Pet Smart parking lot and just picturing some car backing over him! He did stop after a mad 100 yard dash - and then rolled over and peed all over his nice clean self!
Somehow we make it all work - and when I collapse in bed at night after a "productive" day of driving, Staging and being a Mom . . . I close my eyes and pray for a restful sleep so that I can get up and do it all again the next day! - Jennie